Day 6

Well, not much is going on. Still trying to drink those 64 ounces a day; seem like I can get through about 75% of it, then I feel bloated and can't drink anymore. But I know I'm getting used to it now... no more overnight potty interruptions! J from KH suggested crystal light... I bought some peach tea and fruit punch mixes.
I attempted the smokey eye look the other day. Ended up with the cheap hooker look instead... guess I'll keep practicing.
Got together with M this weekend. He's a fun guy. I'm wondering if this is going to be a friendly relationship instead of a romantic one. I'd be satisfied with that; we really get along great, have a lot of the same interests. I need more physical attention, though, but I'm waiting to see what develops. I do wish C would get in contact again, I really think we could have a fantastic relationship... but he wants no gf right now, and I'm not about to sit around and wait. I waited for XH to change for over 2 years, and I learned that lesson the hard way.
On the #47 side, I still need to get a scale. The diet from spark is FULL OF CARBOHYDRATES, and I know from the many many many diets I've tried that I need to limit those carbs as much as possible. I'm still reading YOAD.
I applied for several positions this week, all are AWAY from Illinois, which I think is a good thing. Not that I am looking forward to moving, but I know that this isn't where I want to spend the rest of my life. The more I look into these positions, the more I like the idea of being a curriculum design specialist. Teaching pre-service teachers is still what I want to do; professors of education seem to be a dime a dozen and the job market is very competitive. Curricular technologists, on the other hand, are soon going to be in high-demand, and I think now is a good time to get my foot in the door so that after I graduate I have experience *and* that Dr. before my name.
I was thinking yesterday that I need to call Walden and get my stuff together so I can FINISH. I love learning, but I'm tired of being a student, and I'm not quite ABD yet. Lo and behold, one of the academic advisors called me today (thank goodness I answered!) and we got the ball rolling for me to start again on February 25th. I just need to fill out the FASFA. And I only have TWO classes left, not counting the doctoral study intensive: the proseminar on teacher leadership beyond the school, and the qualitative research class. If I really hump it I *might* be able to graduate in December!!!! I'm not going to push it though... take my classes, one at a time, get some advice about my dissertation and how to complete that when I'm not working in a K-12 school, and how moving to a university position, if appointed, is going to affect that.

So, I've plenty on my plate for the next little while. I am so glad I'm starting to feel normal again. I've been sitting on my ass for like a year and a third, if you don't count me working at the schools this fall. I refuse to let myself get into the mindset that I'm not good enough--Jill said (almost a year ago!) that I have "imposter syndrome".... that I'm worried people are going to discover that I don't really know what I'm doing or talking about, that I'm a fraud, etc. However, I *do* know what I'm doing--I'm an expert in my field and highly employable. I even wrote it on my bathroom mirror to remind myself :) Keeping that positive outlook is a definite MUST DO, especially if I'm going to complete these 101 things.