Well a lot has been happening...
Looks like I'm going to be moving back to MD in the nearish future. I met a nice guy out here, but I don't think it's going to carry on much more; just too comfortable too quick. I guess I need to be wined and dined.
Been talking to a guy out in DE, he seems nice.
As far as the 101 goes.... *sigh*. At least with moving I'll get some of the organization things out of the way!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Day 42
Today, the 12th, is my year anniversary of moving out. Time flies, I guess. I'm really proud of myself for making changes over the last year. I don't know that I'm better off financially, but emotionally, mentally, physically? Absolutely.
XH stopped by earlier in the week to drop off some papers and stuff I had at his dad's house (his father is getting married, today, I think). He said he was buying a house, then started telling me about it, but I had to stop him. I was so upset... I begged him for years to get his shit together, fix what needed to be fixed, so we could sell and move. I guess I had it in my head that if we got away from where we were, we'd be able to fix things. He said "are you mad at me?" WTF!!!!!!!!! I am so mad at him for so many things I don't even think I can begin to verbalize it. I didn't bother asking if that slutbag he's living with now is moving in with him. I just don't understand what I did to karma that made her deal me such a shitty hand.... after all I put into trying to fix that marriage, *I* ended up being screwed over, and now HE'S living the bachelor life, buying a family friendly house and settling down??? I guess it was me. But I did the damn best I could. Screw him, he's missing out. I hope he's sorry. If he isn't, he will be.
I called MOMD and he's on his way over. I don't know if it's because i miss him, want him, love him, or because I want to get back at my ex. Hopefully more of the former than the latter.
XH stopped by earlier in the week to drop off some papers and stuff I had at his dad's house (his father is getting married, today, I think). He said he was buying a house, then started telling me about it, but I had to stop him. I was so upset... I begged him for years to get his shit together, fix what needed to be fixed, so we could sell and move. I guess I had it in my head that if we got away from where we were, we'd be able to fix things. He said "are you mad at me?" WTF!!!!!!!!! I am so mad at him for so many things I don't even think I can begin to verbalize it. I didn't bother asking if that slutbag he's living with now is moving in with him. I just don't understand what I did to karma that made her deal me such a shitty hand.... after all I put into trying to fix that marriage, *I* ended up being screwed over, and now HE'S living the bachelor life, buying a family friendly house and settling down??? I guess it was me. But I did the damn best I could. Screw him, he's missing out. I hope he's sorry. If he isn't, he will be.
I called MOMD and he's on his way over. I don't know if it's because i miss him, want him, love him, or because I want to get back at my ex. Hopefully more of the former than the latter.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Day 39 ... I think
Tomorrow I'll be attempting to break 130 while bowling; another date *happy dance*.
I told MOMD that it was really hard on me not seeing him... got the "I miss you but I want to spend time with DD when I'm not working" thing. I don't blame him, of course, but part of me wants to say Well if you want a relationship you have to make time for me, and 5 hours every other week isn't working for me.
Gah.
I told MOMD that it was really hard on me not seeing him... got the "I miss you but I want to spend time with DD when I'm not working" thing. I don't blame him, of course, but part of me wants to say Well if you want a relationship you have to make time for me, and 5 hours every other week isn't working for me.
Gah.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Day 30
I'm in a conundrum. MOMD called and visited again. I did finally get up the nerve to tell him that I wasn't just a booty call, and I think I hurt his feelings a little bit. I'm glad... not that I hurt his feelings, but that he obviously doesn't think of me that way.
On the list.... My classes started, so that's working towards finishing my degree. Once I get the official "go" from my advisors, I can make "write dissertation" an in-progress item.
So in 30 days, I've accomplished one thing... that means I need to step it up!!!
On the list.... My classes started, so that's working towards finishing my degree. Once I get the official "go" from my advisors, I can make "write dissertation" an in-progress item.
So in 30 days, I've accomplished one thing... that means I need to step it up!!!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Day 24
Had a fantastic date tonight; went to a hockey game, that that means #66 is COMPLETE!!! Guy is *really* nice. Super nice. No awkward silences... there were silences, but I didn't think they were awkward. We came back here after the game and talked for over 3 hours. Then I got some smooches before he left. (=
1 down, 100 to go!!!
1 down, 100 to go!!!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Day 20
My wonderful mother sent me the book Making Faces by Kevyn Auncion. It's GREAT! There's even a part specificaly designated to the smokey eye look!!!
I have a date on Sunday, to an IceHogs game; number 66 is going to be my first one finished I think!!!
I have a date on Sunday, to an IceHogs game; number 66 is going to be my first one finished I think!!!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Day 19
I'm just making this entry so I don't lapse on my "make weekly entries".
Been pretty down since the NIU shootings. I'm glad I wasn't involved more than I had to be.... all those poor families. I just don't have anything profound or insightful to day about it... I just hope it stops happening.
Been pretty down since the NIU shootings. I'm glad I wasn't involved more than I had to be.... all those poor families. I just don't have anything profound or insightful to day about it... I just hope it stops happening.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Day 13
Things have been uneventful. I've made progress on drinking water and moisturizing my face, hooray! It's *almost* part of the routine.
NG and I aren't going anywhere. That's pretty much all there is to say about that.
MOMD sent me a horrible homemade valentine's poem; of course it was the sweetest thing I've ever heard, ever ever ever. First I've heard from him in almost 4 months. Granted, I kind of ended it, but with a "call me when you're ready for this" kind of thing. There's not a whole lot of stuff I could never say "no" to, but he's definitly one. It's 3am in the middle of winter and you want to see me... well, come on over. He looked great ... probably gained about 30 pounds, arms and chest are definitly bigger and more defined. Little belly, hehe. First thing I thought when I saw him was "wow, he beefed up". He's says, "Hey, meow" and it was like not a second had passed since I'd seen him.
Anyway, this is turning into 1001 love trysts that interfere with 101 important things, hehe. Thank god no one reads this blog but me :)
NG and I aren't going anywhere. That's pretty much all there is to say about that.
MOMD sent me a horrible homemade valentine's poem; of course it was the sweetest thing I've ever heard, ever ever ever. First I've heard from him in almost 4 months. Granted, I kind of ended it, but with a "call me when you're ready for this" kind of thing. There's not a whole lot of stuff I could never say "no" to, but he's definitly one. It's 3am in the middle of winter and you want to see me... well, come on over. He looked great ... probably gained about 30 pounds, arms and chest are definitly bigger and more defined. Little belly, hehe. First thing I thought when I saw him was "wow, he beefed up". He's says, "Hey, meow" and it was like not a second had passed since I'd seen him.
Anyway, this is turning into 1001 love trysts that interfere with 101 important things, hehe. Thank god no one reads this blog but me :)
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Day 6
Well, not much is going on. Still trying to drink those 64 ounces a day; seem like I can get through about 75% of it, then I feel bloated and can't drink anymore. But I know I'm getting used to it now... no more overnight potty interruptions! J from KH suggested crystal light... I bought some peach tea and fruit punch mixes.
I attempted the smokey eye look the other day. Ended up with the cheap hooker look instead... guess I'll keep practicing.
Got together with M this weekend. He's a fun guy. I'm wondering if this is going to be a friendly relationship instead of a romantic one. I'd be satisfied with that; we really get along great, have a lot of the same interests. I need more physical attention, though, but I'm waiting to see what develops. I do wish C would get in contact again, I really think we could have a fantastic relationship... but he wants no gf right now, and I'm not about to sit around and wait. I waited for XH to change for over 2 years, and I learned that lesson the hard way.
On the #47 side, I still need to get a scale. The diet from spark is FULL OF CARBOHYDRATES, and I know from the many many many diets I've tried that I need to limit those carbs as much as possible. I'm still reading YOAD.
I applied for several positions this week, all are AWAY from Illinois, which I think is a good thing. Not that I am looking forward to moving, but I know that this isn't where I want to spend the rest of my life. The more I look into these positions, the more I like the idea of being a curriculum design specialist. Teaching pre-service teachers is still what I want to do; professors of education seem to be a dime a dozen and the job market is very competitive. Curricular technologists, on the other hand, are soon going to be in high-demand, and I think now is a good time to get my foot in the door so that after I graduate I have experience *and* that Dr. before my name.
I was thinking yesterday that I need to call Walden and get my stuff together so I can FINISH. I love learning, but I'm tired of being a student, and I'm not quite ABD yet. Lo and behold, one of the academic advisors called me today (thank goodness I answered!) and we got the ball rolling for me to start again on February 25th. I just need to fill out the FASFA. And I only have TWO classes left, not counting the doctoral study intensive: the proseminar on teacher leadership beyond the school, and the qualitative research class. If I really hump it I *might* be able to graduate in December!!!! I'm not going to push it though... take my classes, one at a time, get some advice about my dissertation and how to complete that when I'm not working in a K-12 school, and how moving to a university position, if appointed, is going to affect that.
So, I've plenty on my plate for the next little while. I am so glad I'm starting to feel normal again. I've been sitting on my ass for like a year and a third, if you don't count me working at the schools this fall. I refuse to let myself get into the mindset that I'm not good enough--Jill said (almost a year ago!) that I have "imposter syndrome".... that I'm worried people are going to discover that I don't really know what I'm doing or talking about, that I'm a fraud, etc. However, I *do* know what I'm doing--I'm an expert in my field and highly employable. I even wrote it on my bathroom mirror to remind myself :) Keeping that positive outlook is a definite MUST DO, especially if I'm going to complete these 101 things.
I attempted the smokey eye look the other day. Ended up with the cheap hooker look instead... guess I'll keep practicing.
Got together with M this weekend. He's a fun guy. I'm wondering if this is going to be a friendly relationship instead of a romantic one. I'd be satisfied with that; we really get along great, have a lot of the same interests. I need more physical attention, though, but I'm waiting to see what develops. I do wish C would get in contact again, I really think we could have a fantastic relationship... but he wants no gf right now, and I'm not about to sit around and wait. I waited for XH to change for over 2 years, and I learned that lesson the hard way.
On the #47 side, I still need to get a scale. The diet from spark is FULL OF CARBOHYDRATES, and I know from the many many many diets I've tried that I need to limit those carbs as much as possible. I'm still reading YOAD.
I applied for several positions this week, all are AWAY from Illinois, which I think is a good thing. Not that I am looking forward to moving, but I know that this isn't where I want to spend the rest of my life. The more I look into these positions, the more I like the idea of being a curriculum design specialist. Teaching pre-service teachers is still what I want to do; professors of education seem to be a dime a dozen and the job market is very competitive. Curricular technologists, on the other hand, are soon going to be in high-demand, and I think now is a good time to get my foot in the door so that after I graduate I have experience *and* that Dr. before my name.
I was thinking yesterday that I need to call Walden and get my stuff together so I can FINISH. I love learning, but I'm tired of being a student, and I'm not quite ABD yet. Lo and behold, one of the academic advisors called me today (thank goodness I answered!) and we got the ball rolling for me to start again on February 25th. I just need to fill out the FASFA. And I only have TWO classes left, not counting the doctoral study intensive: the proseminar on teacher leadership beyond the school, and the qualitative research class. If I really hump it I *might* be able to graduate in December!!!! I'm not going to push it though... take my classes, one at a time, get some advice about my dissertation and how to complete that when I'm not working in a K-12 school, and how moving to a university position, if appointed, is going to affect that.
So, I've plenty on my plate for the next little while. I am so glad I'm starting to feel normal again. I've been sitting on my ass for like a year and a third, if you don't count me working at the schools this fall. I refuse to let myself get into the mindset that I'm not good enough--Jill said (almost a year ago!) that I have "imposter syndrome".... that I'm worried people are going to discover that I don't really know what I'm doing or talking about, that I'm a fraud, etc. However, I *do* know what I'm doing--I'm an expert in my field and highly employable. I even wrote it on my bathroom mirror to remind myself :) Keeping that positive outlook is a definite MUST DO, especially if I'm going to complete these 101 things.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Day 1
Day 1
I have officially begun! Take a look at my list, and I've italicized the things that are in progress. Most (all) of these things I started before tonight, but every little bit helps, right?
My ex-husband popped over a weekish ago and we sorted out the recipe box (he had it). So I've listed that one as in progress, because now I just need to make little tabs and put everything into categories.
The water is set up (not the vitamin water!), and I started the moisture regimin this evening. The blog... well, obviously. I put money in a savings account, and I've set up (but not yet maintained hehe) online bill pay.
I think that's a pretty good start!!!!
I have officially begun! Take a look at my list, and I've italicized the things that are in progress. Most (all) of these things I started before tonight, but every little bit helps, right?
My ex-husband popped over a weekish ago and we sorted out the recipe box (he had it). So I've listed that one as in progress, because now I just need to make little tabs and put everything into categories.
The water is set up (not the vitamin water!), and I started the moisture regimin this evening. The blog... well, obviously. I put money in a savings account, and I've set up (but not yet maintained hehe) online bill pay.
I think that's a pretty good start!!!!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Lesson #1
Well I'm glad I decided to read the label on my vitamin water... 13 grams of sugar per serving, times 8 a day = 104 grams of sugar I'm just DRINKING. Even my opiginal plan of alternating b/t vitamin water and regular water won't work. Sheesh. I'm normally pretty good at looking at labels, too, but for whatever reason, it didn't occur to me this time. Too bad too, because I really really really like the grape flavor. *sigh* At least I figured it out now, before I'm going "I don't know why I'm not losing weight....". As soon as this bottle is done (tonight) I'm sticking to regular, plain, free, no calorie water. I may as well have been drinking cherry coke!!!!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Countdown toKick-off
Friday is the BIG DAY. I've been doing some practicing... I have 3 recycled Vitamin Water bottles in the fridge full of water, and I have been *trying* to drink 2 a day. Eventually I just get sick of drinking water though haha.
I took the piggly wiggly bag to the grocery store the other day... I was able to fit everything I needed into the bag. I was placing stuff in the bag as I shopped and I got a couple weird looks, but I didn't want to get up to checkout and have it not mostly fit.
I started reading YOU on a Diet last night. I don't think I'm going to start Friday, but very soon after that. If I can drop 10 pounds a month, in July I'll be pretty close to where I "stopped" when I lost all that weight in 2005. Maybe not skirt-less swimsuit ready, but I'll not feel weird wearing a spaghetti strap tank top. Why do I worry about this? I'm almost 30! I don't pay attention to what other people are wearing/shouldn't be wearing when I look at them. Oh well. Lifetime of being blessed in the padded areas I guess.
Mom just convinced me to join SparkPeople. She's on, and she loves it. Two heads are better than one (even if one of them is a hard head--that's me, not my mom.)
I took the piggly wiggly bag to the grocery store the other day... I was able to fit everything I needed into the bag. I was placing stuff in the bag as I shopped and I got a couple weird looks, but I didn't want to get up to checkout and have it not mostly fit.
I started reading YOU on a Diet last night. I don't think I'm going to start Friday, but very soon after that. If I can drop 10 pounds a month, in July I'll be pretty close to where I "stopped" when I lost all that weight in 2005. Maybe not skirt-less swimsuit ready, but I'll not feel weird wearing a spaghetti strap tank top. Why do I worry about this? I'm almost 30! I don't pay attention to what other people are wearing/shouldn't be wearing when I look at them. Oh well. Lifetime of being blessed in the padded areas I guess.
Mom just convinced me to join SparkPeople. She's on, and she loves it. Two heads are better than one (even if one of them is a hard head--that's me, not my mom.)
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
The Pre-Game
On February 1st, I will embark on a great journey. I've joined a group that sets a goal of completing 101 things in 1001 days. I've made my list, organized it by category, and am ready to begin!
Here, I'll keep track of the trials and tribulations of my journey. Establishing a blog for my progress is one of my goals, so I'm already ahead of schedule!
Here, I'll keep track of the trials and tribulations of my journey. Establishing a blog for my progress is one of my goals, so I'm already ahead of schedule!
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